BELOVED BROTHER
by Kristee Loory Van-Hoyte
Summary: Well, Leo thought he was prepared for anything... But sometimes things just happen and you simply can't control them. Leo&Raph. WARNING: Yaoi and love. Don't read if ya don't accept those thing.
1. Something over the control

Well it's TMNT ©. And ya know what everyone says: I don't own them… Pity.

**About story:** it's about love, more than brotherly love. But it's romantic and soft. There's gonna be 3 chapters, though they look more like separate stories connected by one idea. So let it be that way.

**For You**: I hope You'll enjoy this. Any tips and comments are welcome and your opinions as well. It's important for me to know them. Thank You for reading!!

**Pairing**: Leo&Raph

**About chapter**: Leo's been acting strange lately and his state's somehow connected to Raphael. They'll have to talk, but will it make things easier for Leonardo?

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**. **Something over the control**

_When __it all has begun? The month ago? Two? Half a year? Or this has been living in me for the whole life, unnoticed, hidden, powerful, ready to strike at the most inappropriate moment? What for? Why? Why now? The reality became to look like __а__ terrible and simultaneously beautiful dream… The glance gives birth to tremor, the word turns off the reason, the touch knockdowns… I am their leader, senior brother, I've been prepared to anything… To anything, except for this…_

"No way this gang is going to win!" Mikey exclaimed, sending a greater handful of popcorn in his mouth. "Main hero will wreck their necks for sure. He's tough!"

"It's different in the real life…" Leo melancholically called back, looking at the TV screen.

Donatello threw one strange glance on his senior brother, but didn't say anything. Recently leader behaved – in soft words - strange: was constantly sunk in his own thoughts, suppressed and even showed first signs of closing depression. All Don's attempts to start some talk had no success: Leonardo simply didn't answer or reversed the conversation to the other theme. Sometimes senior brother did not come out of its room for hours, was distracted during their trainings that weren't like him after all and even forgot the meditation. Donatello did not know what to think, particularly, when he noticed that reinforcement of Leo's depression was provoked by a single sign of Raphael…

For some certain time turtles silently watched the movie, though Mikey seemed to be the only one to follow the plot. Donny had glanced at Leonardo, who'd been completely obsessed with his own thoughts, and already decided to try and talk once again, when door was opened slightly and Raph walked into the living room. Donatello bit his tongue as he noticed his leader immediately turning sour. He practically blew off as some air ball if such comparison could have been possibly used to describe their always concentrated and neat brother. Leonardo mumbled something indistinct, got up, studiously skirted approaching Raphael and darted out of the room without a single look back. Raphael threw one quick glance after him, then fell on soft pillow and looked at the screen.

"Whatcha lookin'?" he asked.

For some time Mikey was telling him the plot of the movie with his mouth full of popcorn. When younger brother had fallen silent, Donny turned to Raph.

"You need to talk to Leo." he said quietly.

"Me?" Raphael mildly twisted. "Yeah, right..."

"Come on, Raph." Donatello frowned. "You see for yourself that Leo's been acting strange for last several weeks. He does not contact with me or Mikey, he even doesn't want to talk to Splinter. You're our only hope."

"What all this gotta do wit' me?" Raphael grumbled. "We don't get along too well, haven't ya forgotten?"

"Raph, you perfectly understand what I'm saying." Donny sighed. "Don't know what happened again between two of you, but now he simply jumps aside when you're closing him. It seems that Leo has his depression growing with you simply in his vision field. No way haven't you noticed that."

Raph kept silence for some time, watching the screen.

"Course I've noticed." he said finally. "Sometimes I feel m'self contagious, when he creeps alon' the wall in the corridor in order not to approach. He's got problems for sure…"

"Talk to him, Raph." Donny nodded aside the door. "I don't like his state. I know, you hate all these talks, but you can at least try. Well?"

"Okay." Raph grumbled discontentedly, rising from the sofa. "But don't forget that was your idea afterwards, and don't resent if I'll hit some talking outta Leo."

"Anything it takes…" Don sighed again, as he watched over leaving Raphael. "As long as it helps Leo to become himself again..."

_..._

_I must be a support for them… Cannot afford weakness, particularly, this sort of it… Have no right to pick out one of them… But, God, occasionally it's so difficult to simply see him… To be in one room, to breathe one air, to cross with glances… All these years of meditations, trainings and edifications, all these turned out to be week before this call, going from the depth of my consciousness… I'm losing control… losing myself… _

"So what's gotten inta ya?" Raph asked discontentedly as he caught Leo in the corridor. "What have I messed up with this time?"

Leo kept silence as he observed his brother approaching him. One step, one more. And there is already s distance in half of the extended hand between them. So close… Thoughts once again became tractile and vague, as it always was near Raphael. As hypnotized, Leo looked at completely familiar face, at powerful body with springy muscles, at two emerged veins on forearms. The reddish-brown eyes of his brother, their piercing glance, always irritated expression caused Leo to feel sweet tremor. He tried to say something, but could not make a single word out of him. Raph's vicinity was slowly driving Leo crazy.

"Leo, what's wrong?" Raph asked with concern. "You feel bad?"

Yes, I feel bad, Leo wanted to yell, bad since I'm forgetting everything near you! Forgetting that I'm your leader and must have clear mind in any situations, but instead of this I'm sinking in oppressive torpor when you get nearby! Forgetting that you're my brother, ant yet my imagination draws such pictures that I ready to die because of the shame! Die… but with that I don't want to stop seeing them. I'm terrified, feel bad and at the same time I feel so madly well, when I'm near you…

"Leo…" Raph muttered. "You okay?"

He stepped a little closer and placed the hand on Leo's shoulder. It was such a rare manifestation of feelings from his side. Senior brother flinched. And lost control. Having a half-step forward, Leonardo grabbed Raph's shoulder and captured those lips in a kiss, though he didn't understand how he could let himself do it. Raphael stood frozen, his body tightened and didn't move, as some certain power had suddenly transformed him into a stone. While this kiss lasted for several seconds, Leo forgot about everything and simply enjoyed the flame that was raging inside of him. The Flame that had been always blazing calmly and peacefully, but now had got free from the dungeon of rules and restrictions and flooded his essence with unknown bliss.

But this all ended quickly. Too quickly. Adding in itself, Raph stepped back, looking at Leo with strange expression on his face. It was vague, but foreshadowed no good. Anyway, leader read it that way. Leonardo almost groaned as he became sensible once again and realized what he had just done.

"Raph…" Leo whispered, looking into his brother's eyes with despair. "I…"

He stretched to Raph, but the terrapin with red bandage did one sharp step back, narrowed his eyes mildly and raised slightly one of his hands. His pose was instantly transformed. Amongst confusion and perplexities senior brother saw the evident signs of the threat. Leo stopped dead. His body was shaking. What he had done! What he had done!! Rapf silently drilled Leo for several more seconds with his eyes and then turned around sharply and quickly walked to the door in the living room.

"Raph, wait…" Leo managed to force some words out of himself.

He forced himself to follow his brother though all he wanted at the moment was to fall down on the floor and never get up again. Raphael ran into the living room causing surprised Mikey to suppress with popcorn, made several long steps across the room and jumped on the balcony. When Leo showed up, Raph's door had been already slammed with fury. The echo had rolled between stone walls and then came silence.

Donatello exchanged glances with Mikey, got up from the sofa and closed to the almost frozen Leo.

"What happened?" he asked, looking at his elder brother with concern.

Leonardo quaked as if being terribly chilled and raised his eyes upon Donny's face. They were overflowed with pain. He hardly understood who exactly was standing in front of him. The pain clouded his sight and pinned down other feeling.

"What have I done…" Leonardo whispered with terror. "Raph… What have I done… He hates me already enough…"

"Leo, you're scaring me." Donny said nervously, placing one hand on his brother's shoulder. "What's with you? What did you do? What happened?"

Mikey forgot about his popcorn and stared at their leader with scare. This kind of Leo was a terrifying surprise. Scolding himself for having forced Raph into this talk with Leonardo, Donny grasped Leonardo's shoulder and carefully shook.

"Leo!" he raised his voice. "Regain consciousness! What happened?"

But it looked like his senior brother didn't respond to external irritations anymore and sunk completely into himself. His glassy glance looked somewhere in space in ahead, where thoughts had some physical form and became palpable. Where he could forget about reality, about everything that had happened a few minutes ago. Where his palms intertwined with palms of the one, who became the center of all desires…

...

Donny left his idle attempts to get their leader out of the mind shell, conducted him into his room, put on the bed, carefully covered with a blanket then quietly returned to the corridor, having the door closed behind him. Mikey stood there feeling nervous and waiting for Donatello. Don shook his head and mildly shrugged, hinting that he wasn't sure what to do. For some time brothers trampled around the door in Leo's room being sunk in some heavy thoughts then simultaneously flinched and ran into the living room.

Raph's Door turned out to be locked and their attempt to enter regained immediate and frantic replay.

"Get the Hell outta my door!!" tense voice yelled. "Or I'm not gonna answer for myself!!"

"Raph, it's me Don." genius said, taking his palm away from the doorknob. "Can you come out?"

"No!"

"Raph, please." Donny asked softly . "I'm asking you…"

For a certain time there was silence behind the door. Then terrapins heard some noise, muted curse and then Donatello was almost happy to hear steps. In a second the key was turned in the lock and door was opened. Raph didn't look very comforting thought, he was angry as if he had been preparing himself for a heavy fight, his eyes blazed with a fire, his fists were compressed so that the knuckles turned white mildly. Donny noticed his sais occupying their usual place on owner's belt.

"Raph." Don said carefully, being afraid to provoke some mad fury with a single unwary word. "Are you ok? You're not wounded by the chance?"

Raph's eyes shined with angry fire. Mikey hardly suppressed a desire to hide behind Donatello. He was elementary frightened. Leo and Raph had been constantly yelling at each other and fighting all the time, but their stripping did not ever end like this before.

"Do you need help?" Donny continued though it was obvious that Raph didn't have any physical problems at the moment.

"No." Raph forced out a replay.

"So… what happened?" Don decided to go straight ahead. "What did Leo do?"

"Don't ya dare to say his name in my presence!" Raphael suddenly shouted, hanging down over his flinched brother.

"Raph, what's wrong with you?" Mikey mumbled with a soft, becalming voice. "Leo's almost dying because of the despair…"

"That's good." Raph's voice was surprisingly calm. "If he approaches me once again, I'll kill him."

There was so much hate and fury and pain in his voice that Donny felt a deep tremor. He helplessly looked at Mikey. Raph turned away from his brothers, slammed the door behind him and moved to the sanctum's output without looking aside.

"Where're you going?" Don yelled.

Without answer Raph opened the passage and disappeared in the sewer's darkness. The massive door closed and took it's place once again with light grinding. The air around was still shivering from the recent fury but soon started to fill with a silence…

...

_Why? Why? Why?! How could I do it? How could I lose my control? His eyes… This expression in his eyes… He'll never forgive me… What have I done… _

Had three days passed already?.. This thought came up for Leo's head and then vanished immediately. What's the difference? One Hour, one day, one week… What's the point in measuring the time if it all filled with pain? What's the difference how many minutes escaped in nowhere after he had done something irreparable? After Raph had left their sanctum? After the despair had become the dominant feeling of his existence? Leo wanted to yell, but his throat only managed to wheeze painfully. And even this didn't matter anymore.

"He lays that way for the third day." Donatello shook his head. "We're hardly forcing him to eat and drink."

"And he's still not telling you what happened?" Casey asked, rubbing his neck.

"No." Donny sighed.

"I searched for Raph everywhere, in all "our" places." Casey shrugged. "Nothing. Seems to me, this time he really doesn't want to be found. Well, it doesn't mean I'm gonna give up though."

"Thank you, Casey." Splinter mildly biased his head.

"Yeah, well…" Casey shrugged mildly once again. "Don't worry, I'm gonna find Raph and bring him here even if I'll have to drag him."

"You should be careful." Donatello said quietly. "Raph was boiling inside when he left. In such a condition he occasionally becomes…"

"Dangerous." Mikey finished for his brother.

"Yes." Donny grasped his head suddenly. "Jeeez, I was the one who insisted on their talk and make Raph follow Leo…What's gotten into me? I perfectly knew what the usual end of all their talks is…"

"It's not your fault, my son," Splinter said calmingly. "Your intentions were good. The source of the problem is hidden inside of Leonardo and not in your actions. However, his condition's growing worse with every hour. I think you and your brother should go to the surface to find Raphael."

"They shouldn't."

Splinter, terrapins and Casey turned in the direction of familiar voice. Raph stood there leaning to a wall and having his hands crossed. He looked tired, there was some strange expression in those brown eyes which nobody could define. Splinter was attentively looking at his obstinate pupil as like he was trying to read his mind. For a certain time there was a silence in the corridor. Then Donny walked forward.

"Raph…" he begun.

"Raph!" Casey interrupted the terrapin as he also stepped forward and approached his gloomy buddy. "Where were you? I searched the whole city trying to find you!"

"It's not of yer business." Raph said sharply.

Donny recognized those intonations and wanted to warn Casey, but it wasn't easy to shut up their human friend.

"What're you nuts? What do you mean by saying it's not my business?" Casey resented, prodding Raphael's shoulder with his finger. "How could you disappear that way having Leo suffering so much there… What were you thinking?!"

In the next moment Raph's fist slammed into his belly, causing man to lose his breathing and bend down. Don and Mickey moved to help, but Splinter unexpectedly stopped his sons. Raphael grasped Casey's wrist and powerfully turned it counterclockwise.

"I think I'll break yer hand if you prod me once again!" Raph hissed, looking in Casey's face filled with pain. "Got that?"

"Yes! Yes!" man cried out. "Let go…"

Raph unclenched his fingers and Casey fell down on the floor with a soft moan, holding carefully his right hand. Frightened Mikey looked at Donny and then at their teacher. Splinter negatively shook his head. Donatello was silent for a moment then did one unsure step forward and stopped dead as the burning glance of reddish-brown eyes fixed on him.

"Eeer…" Don forced himself to do one more step. "Listen, hey…"

"Where's Leo?" Raph interrupted the terrapin.

Donatello noticed not without fear that with this question Raph placed palms over the handles of his sais. This motion was quite familiar and meant readiness to strike a blow. Donny grew cold after this thought.

"Raph…" he mumbled trying to think of something. "You…eeemm…"

"Leonardo's in his room, Raphael." Splinter said unexpectedly. "He didn't abandon it since you had left. The pain that is unknown to us is being tearing him apart and you're the only one who can stop it. This way or another. Go."

Raph nodded almost unnoticeably and walked into the Leo's room. Mikey helped Casey to get up.

"Do you think it was a good idea, master?" Donny asked, looking at his father. "Raph's in such a condition at the moment…"

"My son, we haven't been able to ease Leonardo's pain." Splinter sighed. "We shall not be able to redeem Raphael's fire as well. But there is something we can do nonetheless."

"What, master?" Mikey asked as he held swaying Casey.

"We can trust your brothers." Splinter answered. "Let's go, our human friend requires small medical help…"

...

_I need to get up… Need to return to brothers, becalm them… Need to talk to master…They all so concerned… But there is no powers… No powers to get up, to move, to talk… No desire to do it… And what am I going to say? How am I going to say?.. It's better to lie down longer… A bit longer… _

Leonardo lied on his bed facing the wall and didn't react when the door was opened and slammed again after Raph had entered the room. Leader breathed almost inaudible though these sounds seemed to be very loud due to the silence around. Raphael walked to the center of the room, stood there for some time then moved again and stopped near Leo.

"Donny, leave me." Leo mumbled without turning around.

Raph didn't move. It looked like anyone's presence in the room was nearly unbearable for the tormented terrapin's leader.

"Please." Leonardo said a bit louder. "I want to be alone."

No motion once gain. Leo felt visitor's intent glance over the back of his head. He didn't want to move but seems like it was the only way to make unwelcome guest leave. Leonardo sighed and raised oneself slightly over the elbow.

"Look." He begun turning round on the sheets. "I just said…"

The words had stuck in Leo's throat when he saw who exactly was standing near his bed. He did not feel anything for some moments and all thoughts seemed to disappear in nowhere. But then alarmed feeling returned ten times stronger than before causing Leonardo to fall back with a quiet moan and close his face with his palms. He was trembling. For all these three days senior brother was so scared because he thought that Raph had left forever, that he'd hate him even more, that the everyday world had been completely ruined and cannot be rebuilt and maintained once again. This feeling was over the edge of Leo's abilities to self-control. And now when it was a time to meet his fears the leader was betrayed by his own essence. He had never been so afraid before.

However it was necessary to do something. Raph silently stood near his bed and waited for something. Leo noticed brother's fingers mechanically stroking handles of his sais. If Raphael call him for a fight this time leader simply will not be able to protect his own life. Leonardo drove this thought away, forced himself to put down his hands and threw one quick glance over the younger terrapin. His brain worked febrile. What to say? What to do? Get up or remain to lie? Touch him or stay at the distance? What if accidentally spoken word will cause the wave of fury? What if the touch will force Raph to wry because of anger and disgust? Should Leo beg for an excuse? But he didn't feel himself strong enough to do it because the memory of that kiss made his heart beat quicker and breathing loose its accustomed rhythm. Leo did not want to repent in what had delivered him such a bliss even if he had to pay for it for much longer. And then reason has yielded to a heart. Leo sat on his bed and finally looked into his brother's eyes.

"I'm glad that you've returned." he said quietly. "You may hate me, may be irritated with me and not talk to me ever again but just do not leave that way anymore… Whatever you choose I'll respect your decision, but I want you to know: I… love you… It's much stronger than me, stronger than any rules and restrictions, stronger than any promises and vows… And I can't do anything with it… Don't want to do anything… If you say, I'll never approach you, but this shall not cause me to stop loving you… After I'd realized this and accepted, my life was filled with a new sense, with a new light…Your light…"

Leo suddenly silenced as if trying to read the strange expression in his brother's eyes but then stopped this and once again fell back on the sheets. Now it was his turn to wait. Leader turned on to the right side looking ahead and praying for this expectation not to be too long. Anything but being uncertain…

Raphael suddenly did several steps forward and got down on his knees near the bed. For some time he simply sat there examining something on the opposite wall then lowered eyes on Leo. Senior brother hold his breathing. Raph leaned forward mildly, stretched his left hand and carefully touched leader's face. Leonardo flinched and closed his eyes for some time, enjoying this innocent contact that he desired so much, then opened them again, looked at Raphael and embraced his hand with palms.

"I hate ya, Leo." Raph said suddenly. "Hate ya for what you've done. Things had never been simple before and now you made them even more complicated…"

"I'm sorry…" Leonardo whispered, snuggling his cheek to his younger terrapin's palm.

"I don't understand what's goin' on wit' me, Leo." Raphael continued looking intently at his brother. "These three days… I wanted to kill ya for so many times that I even stopped counting… I was coming home with this feeling… But now you're telling me this… And I'm starting to feel that I've been laying to myself for too long…"

"Raph…" Leonardo mumbled quietly, kissing softly his sibling's palm. "I gave a promise once that I'll always look after you… Always be near… And I'll keep my word if you let me to…"

Raph tightened but didn't take his hand away only sighed intermittently.

"I need time, Leo." he said with a mild tremble in his voice. "Time to understand... To accept this…"

Leonardo felt the way his brother's body calling back to their vicinity, the way hand quivering under the touch of his lips, the way his breathing changing the rhythm. Possibly it was a small thing, but Leo was nearly overfilled with mad happiness that was ready to spout through the edge sweeping away all barriers in its way.

"You've got all time you want, Raphie." Leonardo mumbled tenderly. "If it's necessary, I'll be waiting for you for my whole life…"


	2. Expectation

Well it's TMNT ©. And ya know what everyone says: I don't own them… Pity.

**About story:** it's about love, more than brotherly love. But it's romantic and soft. There's gonna be 3 chapters, though they look more like separate stories connected by one idea. So let it be that way.

**For You**: I hope You'll enjoy this. Any tips and comments are welcome and your opinions as well. It's important for me to know them. Thank You for reading!!

**Pairing**: Leo&Raph

**About chapter**: things changed since Leo had revealed his true feelings. Now he just has to wait as he had promised three weeks before. It's not that easy though... Fearless leader appeares to be very hot in this chapter, and Raphie is such a tease... They doesn't actually look like themselves, but it's too late to stop...

* * *

**CHAPTER 2**. **Expectation**

Raph's fingers touched Leo's wrists, stroked his palms and found the handles of twin swords. The leader did not resist, when Raphael softly pulled them out of his hands and threw aside. Leonardo simply stood, looking at his brother's lips not being able to do anything but stare, not being able to tell something, not being able to oppose pleasure expanding inside. Raph's palms again returned on Leo's wrists and then pulled upwards on forearms and shoulders. In a moment Leo's face was in Raph's hands. Dark green turtle had been looking into his brother's eyes for some time, then leaned forward and nestled to his lips…

With a sudden twist the image disappeared. Almost moaning Leonardo opened his eyes.

This dream appeared almost every night, forcing to compress blanket convulsively and come back to reality with burning desire to fall on the pillows again and get back to sleep, having forgotten about everything in this world. Who ever said nights suppose to bring relaxation?

Leo looked at the clock near his bed. Four in the morning. Having sighed, leader turned over on a stomach and stared at the opposite wall melancholy. He knew that he would be awake now till the very dawn, feeling this flame burning inside. After all this time this fire became habitual. Just like the memoirs about his dream that caused waves of a painful shiver run through his tensed body. Well, Leo almost got used to it.

It was a part of ritual of expectation. And Leo accepted its rules. And was ready to wait no matter what it takes.

...

Stretching and still not being completely awake, Raphael entered the kitchen. All his brothers had been already there. Mikey with his tongue put out was dawdling with a pack of cornflakes and trying to find hidden prize. Concentrated Don slowly stirred his tea, having entirely plunged into another clever book which had been presented to him the day before by other terrapins. Only Leo tore his gaze away from his cup and turned his head in Raph's direction as the red masked ninja stood in the aperture.

"Hey." Leader said quietly.

His lips twisted with the soft smile and eyelids trembled slightly. During last three weeks Raphael had enough time to get used to that special look given him by Leo. It was soft, warm and affectionate. Even during the trainings this look did not change, though it did not prevent senior brother to fulfill his duties with full force.

"Hey." Raphael responded making one step towards the kitchen table.

Donnie murmured something like "good morning" without interrupting his reading and Mikey just waved his hand and again returned to his fascinating occupation at the moment. Raph grinned, walked past the table and stopped near the kitchen rack. His breakfast was waiting for him there.

"Who's the chef today?" He asked trying to sound indifferent.

"Leo." Happy Mikey answered having finally gotten his prize. "Though it was your turn."

Raph nodded hardly noticeably. Of course it was Leo. Having come to the kitchen and found out that Raphael had missed his turn again, Donnie would simply get some hastily built sandwich and Mikey would run into Raphael's room to wake him up and get another scolding for that. And only Leo silently made breakfast instead of their brother as he had already done several times. Probably, it was one of some ways for him to show his feelings though Raph didn't need it. He knew.

"Thanks." Dark green mutant muttered throwing one quick glance over the leader.

Senior brother nodded not saying anything. Raphael took the plate, turned around and stood silently near the rack for some time. The only free chair was near Leonardo who continued to watch him softly, but at the same constantly. This look… Raph suppressed light shiver going from the depth of his body. In one of those days Raphael had suddenly understood something about this steadfast contemplation. Leonardo didn't just watch him, he caressed him with this look. Raph could almost feel it physically.

Did it cause any unpleasant feelings? Not quite… It was just that Raphael wasn't ready to accept what his senior brother wished to give. Or there was something else? He wasn't sure.

Not looking into Leo's eyes, Raph approached the table and lowered on a chair near their leader.

"Some tea?" Leonardo asked, placing his palm over the teapot's handle.

Raphael nodded and began to eat, looking stealthily at Leo who was preparing fragrant drink for him. Movements of his brother were slow and relaxed. Red masked mutant knew that he would receive exactly what he wanted: strongly made black tea with one piece of sugar, no lemon or milk. And he didn't need to sound his preferences because Leo knew the most of them. Donnie and Mikey didn't pay attention to it, but Raph felt himself rather strange during such moments. Leader cared about him. More of it, he acted like he was… courting. And damn it all if it didn't bring certain pleasure to Raphael though he wasn't going to admit it.

"Here." Leo moved smoking cup closer to his brother.

Raph pulled to it and wasn't surprised, when leader took the chance to stroke his hand unnoticeably for the others. Well, he got used to it too. Indefinite smile touched corners of Raphael's lips as he took a drop of burning fragrant drink and leaned back in his chair. Leonardo sighed silently. He knew that was the way his brother wanted to prevent all further opportunities for any other similar contact. Small regret flew in Leo's eyes but he remained outwardly unflappable.

"Hey, Don." Raph said turning away from Leo. "Shall we finish my bike today?"

"Sure." Don called back as he finally had torn himself away from his book and looked at his brother. "I devised something. You'll like it."

"If it'll force my bike to go faster ya may not doubt it." Raph grinned.

"It'll force it to fly!" Donnie smiled in return.

Genius began strewing with different technical terms and interrupted himself only to take a drop of tea. Raphael listened to him attentively, having forgotten about everything around. Certainly he wasn't good in all this Don's scientific and mechanical rubbish, but when it came to bikes or any other transport – high-speed, preferably - he took a great interest and actually understood this stuff. So for that moment Donatello was speaking his language. Raph was so absorbed by brother's words that Leo felt a bite of jealousy almost against his own will, though there were no reasons for that.

"Ya're genius, know that?" Raphael smiled widely after Don had finished his explanations.

"Yeah, yeah..." Violet-clad turtle responded with a chuckle. "Well, I'll be in my laboratory."

He got up and left the kitchen not having forgotten to take his precious book. Mikey jumped too, shouted that his favorite show begins and skipped away to the living room. After a second brothers heard the sounds of TV. Raphael tensed a bit. He still has been feeling himself slightly uncomfortable since that conversation in Leo's room three weeksago. Especially when they were alone. Though their leader seemed to look rather happy with the successful combination of circumstances.

They quickly washed up all dishes. Having put last plate on a kitchen shelf, Raphael moved back slightly and came up against something with his shell. He didn't need to look back to know what obstacle was in his way. Raph sighed almost inaudible and slowly turned to face Leonardo. There was a distance in a couple of centimeters between their bodies. Leo stretched his hands out and grasped edges of a kitchen rack on each side from his brother capturing him in some sort of trap.

"Raph…" He whispered.

Now he was looking at his brother with the same expression as in that time when he had dared to kiss him in a corridor. Raphael could tell that for sure because he remembered it very well. Maybe even better than he'd like. And this expression meant only one thing now. Red masked mutant didn't try to step aside, but he also didn't do any movements which could have been served as some encouragement for the senior brother. Raph couldn't quite define his feelings at the moment as his emotions were heaped up against each other too chaotically.

Even if Leonardo had been waiting for some reaction he didn't show any sign of distress because of its absence. Instead he moved forward, pressed oneself against Raphael and gently touched his lips to brother's chin. Then he moved up to the right and kissed a corner of densely closed mouth. Still not moving Raph however slowly lowered his eyelids and slightly raised his head. Leo classified that as ban on proceeding in this direction, so he shifted his hands to touch brother's body and begun to go downwards on Raphael's neck with a chain of hot kisses. To his great joy he noticed other's breathing quickening. Good sign, maybe it was enough to go further?

Having hesitated for some time, leader grabbed Raph's belt with one hand, waited and then slowly moved his palm lower on muscular hip. A moment later strong fingers clenched on his wrist, another hand lifted upon his plastron and Leo was pushed away with one accurate, but still hard movement. Senior brother's brain didn't seem to work properly as he lifted disturbed look at Raphael's face. Leonardo was quite surprised not to see expected angry expression there. He wanted to say something, but was suddenly interrupted by Mikey's voice.

"Hey, guys, why are you so quiet here?" Youngest brother asked standing in the aperture. "Everything's ok?

"Sure." Raph responded. "What did ya expect us to yell and threw plates into each other?"

Leo noticed that brother's voice was absolutely calm and even had small notes of usual irritation. Raphael behaved as if nothing had happened a minute before. Having sighed mentally, leader looked at Mikey over his shoulder and smiled reassuringly, though he felt himself confused. It turned out that he was so obsessed with what he had been doing that he didn't notice Mikey's approach. But Raph did. On one hand, it was undoubtedly good, but on another it meant that caress hadn't forced him to relax completely. It caused Leo to feel distress once again. Certainly, he had promised to give Raphael all time he needed, but it was necessary to realize that this expectation became more and more strained every day. Now it was more than desire. It was lust. And leader couldn't do anything about it.

Mikey smiled at his brother's words and poured himself a glass of juice.

"Well, it's just usually you do not sit together so silently." He said, doing a small drop. "So I thought that Raph could possibly strangle you, Leo."

"We were just talking, Mikey." Senior brother shook his head with a smile. "We're going to shout loudly next time so you wouldn't have to worry."

"Agreed." Youngest brother chuckled in return. "Well, who wants to look my show?"

Leonardo threw a glance over Raph and saw him shaking his head.

"I'm goin' to Don's lab." Raph straighten his belt and passed by Mikey not looking back. Leo sighed deeply and looked at his younger brother. He didn't want to watch TV, but what was else he had to do? Raph and Don didn't invite anybody and Mikey searched for company which was good enough for a small distraction.

"So what show is on?" Leader asked, following his sibling to the living room. "I hope something more interesting than that rubbish we watched last time?"

...

Raphael looked at the small mechanism on the desk. Basically, mutant understood Don's explanations about this thing and it's work mode, but he still couldn't apply them to his bike. Eventually Raph gave up. After all Donnie invented it so it was his task to make this junk work.

"What should I do now?" Red masked ninja asked.

Donatello accurately connected two thick wires.

"Nothing in fact." Genius smiled slightly. "Since I'm the only one who knows how it works. However can you bring me that tool box?"

Raphael did it and sat down on the edge of a workbench.

"Raph…" Donatello suddenly turned to him. "Can I ask you something?"

He was going to ask about Leo. Raph heard it in brother's voice. Dark green mutant was sure, that Splinter, Don and Mikey still didn't know what exactly had happened in the corridor three week ago. He also hoped that none of them knew what the true feeling of their eldest brother and son were. Yet sometimes it seemed to Raphael that Leo's changed behavior was too obvious. Though maybe because he knew the reasons of those changes.

"I'm listenin'." Raph said looking aside.

"What's happening with Leo?" Donatello sounded a bit concerned. "You see he's been acting strange since that day when you had left after your talk in the corridor. Sure you reconciled with him but now he's unlike himself again."

Raphael shrugged trying to make this movement look easy.

"I can't find suitable words…" Donnie pulled tool box closer. "He's like… He behaves as… Eeerm… Well, I'm not sure… As if…"

"He's waitin' for somethin'." Red-clad mutant prompted quietly.

"Exactly!" Donatello lifted his head. "Raph, are you sure everything is ok between you two?"

"Everything's fine." Dark green mutant responded. "Well, I'll better be goin' now. Don't wanna distract ya. Call me if ya'll need some help."

He got up, smiled slightly and slowly left Don's laboratory…

...

This time Leo acted more persistently. He caught Raph in the corridor, when his brother he had been passing by, dragged him into his room and pressed to the wall. This unusual leader's behavior was supported by the idea that red masked mutant would have pushed him away if he was against this. Leo's hands slid along Raph's body while he passionately kissed and licked his neck, as if intending to absorb all liquids under the dark-green skin. And again Raph felt pleasure, though it was still accompanied by some strange feeling which had been born in the depth of his sub consciousness. He didn't know what it was, but it didn't allow him to plunge into pleasure completely.

Leo kissed strong neck one more time, lifted his head and pressed mouth to brother's lips in a fast kiss then leaned back slightly and looked into his eyes. Raph knew what he wanted. But giving leader what he desired meant in some way that Raphael was ready to accept everything else. And that wasn't quite true. Leo waited, his palm was stroking his sibling's hip lightly and another hand was rubbing dark green neck. His fingers trembled slightly and eyes flickered with all those feelings overwhelming him. It was so strange to see always smart and calm Leo in such state…

Raphael's lips twisted with a soft grin. It was the moment when he needed to push Leo away again or let them come further in their relationship. No matter what, second option was definitely more interesting and even attractive. Raph waited for a few moments then slightly opened his mouth, giving leader silent permission.

At first Leonardo looked slightly surprised as if he didn't expected this, but then his eyes flashed with delight and almost a triumph. He leaned forward and locked their lips in a kiss. This time, it was much more deep and hot. Raphael felt brother's tongue studying and caressing his mouth. Those were strange sensations, nevertheless, his breathing fastened and mind clouded slightly. Raph didn't care about anything at the moment. Perhaps, for the first time during three weeks red masked terrapin dared to relax completely absorbing soft caress and letting his brother control the situation.

Leader seemed to be more than happy with it. Raphael felt the shiver of his body, its heat going from inside, his forceful desire which caused shivers run down through his own spine. Yes, this time he really felt responding fire burning inside of him.

And it was like a relief. Alarming feeling that had been preventing Raph from drowning in pleasure suddenly became weak and almost vanished. Most likely not forever, but at least for some time. But that was enough for now.

Raphael suddenly broke the kiss, pushed Leo away, forcing soft sound of protest out of him, then grasped his shoulders and pressed leader to the wall. Leonardo moaned quietly when strong hands begun to investigate his body and hot lips touched his skin. It was the first time Raph actually responded to senior brother's call. Leo shuddered at the thought that this agonizing expectation finally coming to its end; his heart thumped quicker with every kiss and knees trembled and weakened with every touch.

That's why he almost slipped down when Raphael suddenly released him and did one step back, breathing deeply and looking at senior brother with a fire in his narrowed eyes. Red masked terrapin stood there for some time, then turned around and quickly left the room. Leo closed his eyes trying to calm down and gather his thoughts together though he felt as if someone cut him and left there bleed.

And yes, he knew precisely now, that forthcoming lonely night would be a nightmare…

...

It was silent in the turtle's lair. Don and Mikey went to sleep and Splinter disappeared in his room. Leo was the only one awake. He couldn't even think about some rest. He felt as if there was powerful volcano ready to erupt inside of him; his body tensed and shivered driving him nearly insane. Leader had spent whole day doing his best to return control over himself but failing miserably and now he had to admit that those attempts had been completely useless. He definitely didn't think about anything when he got up, left his room and moved in well-known direction.

So now he was standing in front of Raph's door, trying to suppress shiver and feeling his palms getting sweaty. And he was standing there ten minutes already. It was time to do something.

Leo felt his heart stopped in his chest as he pulled to the door handle and slowly clenched fingers on it.

Locked.

Leonardo tried again. The door didn't stirred and there was no sound in the room. Leader closed his eyes persuading himself not to give in to disappointment and melancholy though he felt as if his lungs were suddenly out of all air. He was so ready to step over last brink, to connect with his brother completely not leaving any way back… He was, but Raph obviously wasn't. And Leo had no right to blame him for it. This step was to serious. And he reminded to himself that he had promised to give time, to wait, not to force…

Leo agreed with his thoughts and immediately remembered their kiss several hours earlier, touches and caresses to which Raphael had actually responded, remembered that wonderful moment when his brother had suddenly taken the control over the situation and kissed Leonardo. Memoirs made leader's body shudder deeply with almost unbearable wave of desire, so strong, that he hardly kept himself from knocking out the damn door which blocked way to the object of his lust…

Leo sighed, threw one last look at this hated obstacle and slowly went back to his own room. Darkness was around him but he didn't actually need to see anything. Leonardo made few steps and stopped in the middle of the corridor. He was tempted by the idea to return, knock the door, wake his brother and embrace him tight not allowing to pull away, kiss and caress him until the resistance would be broken and fire of passion would overfill them both… Leo shook his head driving away those mental images and continued his way. He wouldn't act as some animal.

He was so obsessed with his thoughts when he entered the room that it took some time to realize that the lamp on the desk was on. Its light was mild and cozy. Leo remembered that he had turned all light off before leaving his room, so he frowned a bit, looked around the perimeter and froze as his eyes fixated over the bed. For a few moments he almost couldn't breathe.

Raphael laid there, having made himself comfortable on the pillows, his eyes closed, hands moved apart, breathing calm and quiet. He didn't have any of his protective pads and his belt. All this stuff made some picturesque disorder on a floor near the bed. Red mask hanged down from the chair that stood near the wall.

Leo gulped not being able to tear his gaze away from this amazing body on blue sheets, and felt the fire within burning more powerfully than ever before. He mechanically locked the door behind, slowly approached the bed and cautiously sat down on it as he glared at the relaxed face, perfect muscles and dark green skin. Leader sighed deeply listening to the calm breathing.

His brother… Raphael… Courageous, strong, full of fire and passions. He came to him, he was here, he laid on his bed, letting know that senior brother's call had been accepted and now there was new stage in their relationship.

Expectation was over.

Leonardo felt his heart quickening; he moved closer, put his hands on the bed near Raph's shoulders and looked at his brother's face with a soft smile. Corners of Raphael's lips trembled and he opened his eyes. They looked at each other for some time, then Raph stretched out slightly and that simple movement forced Leo to shudder once again.

"Ya were out for long." Raphael murmured, placing his palms on brother's shoulders. "Tried to crack my door?"

"Well… I wanted to…" Leo answered with a small amount of embarrassment. "I couldn't even imagine you'd come to me…"

"Me too." Raph grinned. "It seemed impossible even yesterday… But it's not so important now…"

He was right. Nothing mattered anymore. Only their vicinity.

"Come to me, Leo…" Raph whispered with passionate notes in his voice. "Come to me…"


	3. Obsession

Well it's TMNT ©. And ya know what everyone says: I don't own them… Pity.

**About story:** it's about love, more than brotherly love. But it's romantic and soft. There's gonna be 3 chapters, though they look more like separate stories connected by one idea. So let it be that way.

**For You**: I hope You'll enjoy this. Any tips and comments are welcome and your opinions as well. It's important for me to know them. Thank You for reading!! And great thanks to all who commented my story!

**Pairing**: Leo&Raph

**About chapter**: well, it's about... Something's wrong with Raphael and it's connected to his lover... Another day, another story. I enjoyed writing that talk in the kitchen. Hope you'll like it too.

Perhaps, I should bring my excuses to those who expected some specific hot and naughty sceen in this chapter. I wanted to write it, but then I changed my mind, because it's not my favourite pairing and, what's more important, I'm not that good in those descriptions. I'll try to make it up...

* * *

Raphael yawned and stretched over the sheets slowly opening his eyes. He blinked trying to focus his gaze then looked at the ceiling above. Nothing interesting there. Raph sniffed and turned on his side, still breathing calmly. His glance fixed upon the door. There was no need in clock to know what time it was, because Raphael heard quiet footsteps outside. They meant it was about 7.30, time for training session. Dark green turtle closed his eyes before footsteps grew louder and the door was opened.

"Raph?" familiar voice called. "You may not pretend, I know you're awake."

Raphael chuckled and lifted his eyelids to see senior brother standing in front of him and smiling softly. Sure he knew… Leonardo moved closer and sat on the bed, his hand gently rubbed Raph's shoulder.

"Training in fifteen minutes." He said. "Time to get up."

Dark green terrapin rolled his eyes and grumbled something indistinct. It was their small morning wake-up ritual and usually Raphael liked this game. But today something was different. Leo bent down and kissed the corner of brother's lips.

"Yeah, I know." He whispered placing his head on Raph's temple. "I didn't want to get up either. But we can't miss the session."

Still not saying anything Raphael sighed slightly. He was in Leonardo's room, he woke up in his bed and he spent this night with him as he had been doing for a month now. He got used to it. So did Leo. Others didn't know yet. It wasn't such an easy thing to tell them that he and their leader became more than just brothers. Who knew how exactly they would react?

Raphael shifted and suddenly felt Leo's palm sliding down his side. It reached muscular thigh, rubbed it teasingly and then moved in between dark green legs. Usually Raph would let him continue, but again – something was different today. He frowned, grabbed brother's wrist, taking his hand away, and shook his head. Leonardo sighed quietly and sat straight to let him get up. Light brown eyes flickered slightly. Raph sniffed at the thought that he could easily turn this glimmering into burning flame of passion any moment. Just few caresses and kisses and his helpless brother would be in his arms moaning and shivering with desire. Yes, he had this power and could use it. Could, but… didn't want to. All he wanted was to get up and lock himself in the bathroom though he knew that leader would definitely try to join him there.

It was needless to say that Leo could turn him on just as fast as he could do it to Leonardo. And that was the reason Raphael didn't want to be followed. He wanted these fifteen minutes for himself. And himself only.

"Going to take a shower?" Leo asked quietly watching his brother.

"Nah… Gonna meditate over the sink." Raph answered. "Why else would anybody wanna go to the bathroom?"

He noticed that his voice sounded more rudely than he'd like. Fortunately Leo seemed not to pay much attention to it.

"Maybe I should join you in your short meditation…" Leonardo whispered getting up and making one step towards his brother.

Raphael felt his eyes narrowing a bit almost against his will. He gazed at Leo for a few moments then turned around sharply.

"Maybe ya should go to the dojo and meditate there unless ya want others suspect somethin'." He grunted.

Then he walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind.

...

Leo tilted his head aside gazing in the bathroom direction, then rubbed his neck and left the room. Raphael was right, it wasn't the best decision to play some naughty games just before the training session. Splinter would definitely notice their state. Leonardo suddenly chuckled remembering their sparring after some morning interlude a week ago. He had caught teasing flickering in brother's eyes as he had pinned him to the floor. It had taken great effort not to kiss him right there and then. Leo had even forgotten for a few moments about the others around, because Raph's lips were such a temptation…

Shaking his head Leonardo moved to the dojo. It'd take time to prepare for the training. Mostly, to calm down himself. He kneeled on the mat, took a deep breath in attempt to free his mind. But instead another memory abruptly overpowered his concentration.

Their first night together. Couldn't be considered as some achievement.

Intermittent breathing, deep and lustful thrusts and Raph's long hisses. He hadn't pushed his brother away, he had born with pain and let Leonardo have his pleasure. Leader had lost control that night and he still felt guilty about that. Sure, Raphael had taken his revenge during the next night, but it was pointless to deny, that red masked ninja had acted much more gently and carefully. And he had made Leo moan not only because of pain…

Next time senior brother had done his best to make Raph groan loudly with arousal and delight. In his stead hothead had returned the favor by forcing strangled yells of bliss out of his lover. And this way their new and breathtaking competition had begun. And the most wonderful thing was that there were no losses in this private contest…

Leonardo sighed realizing that his meditation failed, stood up and grinned. He could always do many things to Raphael: he could lead him, irritate and make angry, save his life and give gratitude for his own rescue, care about him and many more. And it was good. But now leader was capable to do even more. Leo could kiss him, caress and touch dark green skin in the way that was forbidden for others. He could take his body. And force cries of pleasure out of his mouth.

Leonardo could be more than a brother to Raph. And that was definitely even better. It was fabulous – spend every free moment with him. And Leo knew that he would do anything to keep it that way.

Grin turned into the soft smile. Yes. He'd do anything.

...

When Raphael entered the dojo everybody was there. Mikey yawned trying to concentrate on Leo's words as his big brother was telling him something. Judging by orange masked ninja's face he wasn't fascinated. Raph chuckled and looked at Donatello. Genius practiced some usual exercises with his bo in the middle of the room. Splinter sat on a futon near the wall and watched over Don's movements.

"Good morning." Raphael muttered receiving slow nod from his master in return.

Raph expected some reprimand for being late but nothing happened. Splinter continued to watch Donatello. It was a bit strange but as long as red masked ninja didn't sense anything disturbing in father's behavior he decided not to pay attention to it. If master was upset or something he would feel it. Besides, Raphael was more consumed by his own state at the moment.

Because he didn't want to train. Or maybe he didn't want to train here in the dojo right now. Raphael sighed. What the hell! He didn't want to train with Leo. That was the problem.

Leonardo finally finished his lecture and turned around. His eyes fixed upon Raph. In a moment master's gaze did the same.

"Leonardo, prepare yourself." Splinter said calmly. "You are in sparring with Raphael. No weapon. Start now."

Leader nodded and slight smile touched corners of his lips. He was pleased, wasn't he? He indeed liked trainings with his brother. In fact he liked everything that included hothead's presence. Raphael sighed again. He didn't want this sparring with leader, but how could he avoid direct Splinter's command? He shook his head and took battle stance. Leo stepped forward, his movements graceful and assertive as usual. Feeling something twitch inside Raph stood still and watched his sibling with narrowed eyes. He felt himself uncertain. And confused. Because he begun to angry, though there were no reasons for that.

Or… were there?

He bent down avoiding Leo's hit and moved to the right. Something was definitely wrong. Day had just started and he already felt himself irritated. Another quick strike and Raphael rolled over his shell to the safe position. He always liked trainings, but today it was different. He wanted to end it just as fast as he could.

He suddenly realized that his fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles became white. Raph took deep breathe and blocked Leo's kick. And then he did something he didn't want to do: he hit back more powerfully than it was necessary. Not with full strength but hard enough to send recipient into stun with further headache and big bruise.

Fortunately Leonardo was aware and dodged this strike. He intended to continue but was suddenly stopped by Splinter's voice.

"Enough, Leonardo." There was something strange in the way master spoke. "Continue your personal training. Raphael, usual set of exercises."

Not that bad after all. At least he could train without necessity to come close to senior brother.

...

Leo poured himself a glass of juice and threw another look at the aperture. Raphael didn't come for breakfast though his appetite was always more than healthy. Of course they had separated just half an hour ago but Leonardo already missed him.

Leader sighed and then understood that Don and Mikey had been giggling together for about last ten minutes. He smiled lightly and turned to them.

"What's so funny?" Leo asked gazing at his brothers.

"Nothing, dude." Mikey shrugged as Don suddenly found something extra interesting in his cup and started to examine it almost obsessively. "Just some old joke…"

"I see." Leonardo tossed his head. "You could have told it to me too, actually, I can laugh, you know…"

"Yeah, I know…" Mikey sniffed. "But you were so busy…"

"Busy?" Senior brother lifted an eyebrow.

Don suddenly pushed orange masked terrapin but was completely ignored.

"Yeap." Mikey grinned widely. "You were eyeing the wall in attempt to pierce it and see your mega crush."

Leo felt his heart stopped for a few moments.

"W…what?.." He managed to mumble.

"You know, Leo, you shouldn't eat him with your eyes if you want to hide your feelings." Mikey chuckled.

"And you should have asked me to give you my lab for those midnight activities of yours." Donatello lifted his head with a short laughter. "It's soundproof, you know."

Both of them giggled again. Leonardo found himself blushing fiercely as he clenched his fingers on the table's edge. Well… Raph indeed was quite… loud when they were alone, and Leo himself forgot about keeping quiet. Alright. He screamed, actually… Oh boy…

"Oh, come on, big brother, no need to shy." Youngest brother tried to calm down a bit. "It's ok."

"And it's so cute…" Donnie's eyes glimmered. "Leo and Raphie…"

Giggles once more. But in a second they were interrupted by low irritated voice.

"Don't call me that." Raphael grunted entering the kitchen.

He did one step forward and stopped gazing at his smirking younger brothers. Then he fixed his eyes upon blushing Leonardo.

"What?" Raphael asked frowning mildly.

"They know…" Leader muttered embarrassedly.

Raph stood completely still processing the information. It was… unexpected, but they couldn't hide their relationship forever. So, in fact, there was no need in overreacting. And little brothers didn't seemed to be frustrated or something. No need to worry about them anymore or try to find appropriate words to explain why he and Leo slept in one bed…

But despite all that Raph felt dissatisfaction. And again… anger? Maybe it was too fast.

"For how long?" Raphael asked slowly.

"About two weeks." Donnie said quietly avoiding red masked ninja's gaze.

"Yeah, you know, I woke up once in the middle of the night." Mickey grinned with a cheeky expression in his blue eyes. "Went to the kitchen and heard you, guys…"

Raph's eyes narrowed, but he still didn't move. Leo stared at the floor as if desperately hoping to fall down through it. It all was so absurd…

"At first I thought that you were fighting, because Raph was growling and you, Leo, was yelling." Mickey ignored another Don's shove. "But then I heard what you were screaming… Wow! I should have recorded that…"

Leonardo gasped and hid blushing face in his palms. He had never been so embarrassed before. And the knowledge of what exactly Mikey had heard that night didn't help at all. Leo didn't control himself during those "midnight activities". So it had been something like "more", "harder" and "faster"… Crap!

Low roar jerked him from his thoughts. Leo lifted his head to see Raphael's contorted face as he jumped towards his younger siblings. Mikey yelped, jumped on his feet and managed to dodge dark green arm's hit in a very last moment. He run around the table and rushed out of the kitchen as fast as he could. Raphael followed him with his eyes and turned to Donatello. Genius smiled unsurely, got up and left the room, moving slowly as if in attempt not to make sudden and sharp movements. Elder brothers heard chuckles and giggles from outside and then everything became silent.

"Well, it all happened not quite the way I imagined." Leo muttered shaking his head. "I need to talk to Mikey about what it means being delicate..."

Raphael grunted something in a reply, hastily made big sandwich and turned to leave. Now they know, and Raph didn't really want to discuss it further. He wanted to be alone. Leonardo leaned forward slightly surprised.

"You're not going to eat here?" He asked softly.

Not that leader was disappointed, but despite the embarrassment from the previous talk he already looked forward to spend some pleasant time together with caresses and touches and maybe something more teasing. He liked being with his brother.

"Isn't it obvious?" Raph growled.

This time Leo heard deep irritated notes in his voice and frowned.

"What's wrong?" Leader got up and moved closer to Raphael. "Are you upset with Mikey?"

"No." Raph sniffed. "I'd like to eat now."

And before Leonardo managed to say something else he rapidly walked out of the kitchen leaving his brother in confusion.

...

Leo placed another kiss on brother's neck and looked at his face. Something was wrong. No, at the moment Raphael was hot and willing, but leader couldn't get rid of the odd feeling that his lover was far away from here. Mentally. His body shivered with desire, but his mind was out of the reach. He seemed somehow… distracted. And leader wanted his attention. He wanted his gaze, his words and more active reaction to his own advances. Some usual reaction, like when Raph touched him, nipped his skin, rubbed and caressed his body…

And now, when Leonardo was lying atop him, hard and ready, these thoughts suddenly hit him, forcing to stop.

"Raphie…" Leader kissed his lover quickly attracting attention. "Is everything ok?"

Raphael slowly opened his eyes and glanced at him with a silent question in golden orbs.

"Well, I just…" Leo bit his lip. "If you don't want… I can stop…"

Raphael blinked at him.

"Sure I don't wanna." He shook his head. "That's exactly why I'm here with ya. Nice logic, bro."

Senior brother chuckled, but immediately became serious again.

"You sure?" He asked. "Because I don't…"

"Oh, shell, Leo!" Raphael cut him off sharply, pulling brother closer. "Do ya really gonna talk NOW?"

He shifted his hips and wrapped his legs tighter around Leonardo's waist.

"Shut up, Fearless." Raph leaned his head back. "I want ya."

That was enough to make Leo forget about his worries and push into his brother's hot body with one passionate thrust. He groaned as their lips connected in a kiss.

After all, they can always talk later.

...

The rest of the day was filled with some strange hide-and-seek game. Obviously Raphael didn't want to be found. And didn't want to be followed. And leader knew not to push him when he was in such state.

But he couldn't stop thinking about Raph as he tried to understand what was happening with his brother. Well, sure Raphael had been in denial in the morning, in the bad mood during the training session, irritated with that kitchen talk and hadn't been too exited when Leo had come into his room after the breakfast. Not a problem, senior brother knew how to turn him on and break that feeble resistance. And even if Raph had acted somehow strange they had spent their time with pleasure and passion.

It was after that when hothead's mood became even worse and he started avoiding his sibling with surprising skill. Being a ninja helped a lot. But Leo wanted to talk; there was definitely something wrong with his lover and leader just wanted to help. And that's why he found Raphael in the sewers, thought he had to admit it had been pure luck.

To Leonardo's distress they didn't have any talk. Raphael growled seeing him and had left the area before leader managed to say a word. That was frustrating. Having returned to the lair red masked ninja locked himself in his room and didn't react to Leo's attempts to enter. When he got out 5 hours later, senior brother noticed that he looked tired and… sad. And that was even more frustrating. Raphael took some snack in the kitchen and disappeared in his personal shelter once again.

Damn his stubborn and reclusive personality…

It was almost midnight when Leonardo heard his footsteps in the corridor. Leader sneaked out of his own room to see Raphael moving to the sofa. He was going to watch some late show on TV. But Leo needed some answers. And he intended to get them no matter what. No late night watching till they get it over with.

His steps were light and Raph noticed him only when it was too late to hide in his room. He sighed deeply as his eyes narrowed.

"Why aren't ya sleepin'?" Dark green mutant asked tiredly.

"I was waiting for you." Leo tilted his head a bit. "We need to talk."

"I don't think so." Raph lowered his chin.

"I do." Leonardo moved closer. "Look, I see there's something wrong with you, but I can't help, if you don't tell me what it is. And I want to help."

"Sure ya do…" Raphael muttered.

That sounded sarcastic, though Raph looked sad again. And annoyed at the same time. Leonardo frowned looking at his brother's face. He wanted to place his hand on dark green shoulder, but Raph stepped back avoiding the touch.

"Look, bro…" Red masked ninja folded his hands while he tried to stay calm. "Go ta sleep. I just wanna watch some movie. That's all."

"I'm fine with that." Leader shook his head slightly. "But that's not the problem."

Did his brother's eyes flashed with anger? Or was it just light flickering? Leonardo couldn't decide.

"Leo…" Raph's voice lowered abruptly. "I wanna watch some movie ALONE. And now. Which word ya didn't understand?"

Now there were definitely angry notes in his voice. At least he didn't threaten. Yet. Feeling his body tensing against this familiar behavior, Leonardo took a deep breathe trying to gather his thoughts. Raphael hadn't been acting aggressive ever since the establishment of a new stage in their relationship, but at the moment he was obviously in the beginning of that state. Leo couldn't understand why. What did he do? What was wrong?

He intended to say something but was interrupted unexpectedly.

"Leonardo."

Brothers turned their heads in the direction of a familiar voice.

"I need to talk to Raphael." Splinted sad calmly, entering the living room and approaching his sons. "Leave us."

Leonardo sniffed discontentedly, but nodded and leaned closer to his brother.

"I'll wait in your room." He whispered as quiet as he could.

"It'll take time, my son." Sensei stopped near the sofa. "You can go to your room."

Feeling himself embarrassed and confused, Leo blushed slightly, but didn't dare to argue with his master. He nodded again, hiding his regret, and obediently did what he was told.

Raphael shifted as he heard the door had been slammed and turned to his father.

"Thank you, sensei." He muttered. "It could end bad…"

Splinter smiled softly, looking at dark green mutant with care in his eyes.

"Do you wish to talk?" He asked.

"No." It was habitual reply, but Raphael immediately corrected himself. "Yes… Well, I don't know…"

He didn't need to ask to understand that their master knew about him and Leo. If Donnie and Mikey knew, then it was impossible for him not to be aware of it. And the fact that Splinter wasn't angry with them because of that and didn't try to punish or anything made Raph's heart fill with warmth and gratitude.

"You see…" Raphael continued as his father waited silently. "Leo's just drivin' me crazy lately… And I mean 'crazy'." He sighed deeply. "He's everywhere. He's the first person I see in the morning and last – when I go to sleep. He makes tea for me during the breakfasts. We train together. He massages me afterwards. We look TV together, and he sits with me even if he's not interested in the damn movie."

"Doesn't it represent the strength of his feelings?" Splinter asked suddenly with almost amused and funny sparks in his eyes.

Raphael felt confusion when he noticed that. It looked like their father enjoyed the situation. But on the other hand, why not? It wasn't worse than those endless serials he watched on TV…

"Well, yeah…" Raphael nodded slowly. "But… eeerm… It's just when I close my door, he knocks on it just five minutes later. When I go to visit Casey, he walks with me or calls by the phone every half an hour. And that if he's busy with somethin'. I didn't quite realize what has been botherin' me till today. A just woke up feelin' like there is not enough air around me. Do you understand?"

"Of course, my son." Sensei rubbed his chin. "When Leonardo does something, he devotes himself fully to this. That's true about trainings, studies, meditations and everything else. So it's not a surprise that it's not different in case of his feelings. And as long as you're… very dear to him, he tries to keep you nearby every moment, so he can protect and care about you all the time. That's just what he is."

"Yeah…" Raph looked at his hands. "But I can take care of myself. And sometimes I hate when he forgets it. I mean, I… love him, master, but I simply can't go on like that. I need space. And personal time for myself. I can't be with him twenty four hours a day like he wants me to be."

Splinted gazed at him silently for a few moments, then smiled.

"You can come out, Leonardo." He said suddenly addressing his words to the aperture. "I know you're there."

Leader's face blushed, when he stepped into the room, but he doesn't seem to care about it. He walked forward and stopped near his brother. Raphael chuckled quietly watching Leo's burning cheeks.

"I believe my son heard everything." Splinter's face was now calm and serious, though those sparks still fluttered in his eyes. "We'll discuss your disobedience tomorrow. But now don't you want to say something to your brother?"

Leonardo lifted his head and looked at Raph. Yes, he heard every word and understood the problem. But there was something that bothered him even more at the moment.

"Did you…" He started, silenced, and then clenched his fingers regaining the control. "Did you say you love me?.."

Almost two months passed since he had confessed his feelings to Raphael, and his brother never said anything like this in return. His only reply to Leo's 'I love you' was 'I know'.

"I did." Raph said and this time he didn't tear his gaze away from his sibling. "I love ya."

Leo felt happy smile curling his lips. He did one step towards his lover, pressing to him, and winded his hands around his neck. After a short pause Raphael hugged him tightly. They were alone again and even didn't notice when exactly Splinter had left the living room.

"I wanted to hear this so much…" Senior brother said quietly. "I love you too."

"Leo…"

"I know, I know." Leonardo interrupted Raph with a quick kiss. "I heard… I'll make it up to you, don't worry. And I won't make you feel trapped anymore, I promise… Guess I'm indeed can be too obsessive…"

Raphael smiled and returned the kiss, nipping brother's lips gently.

"I love you." Leo whispered as he was able to speak again.

For a moment he was afraid to hear 'I know' in return.

"I love you too."

That was all that mattered. Because Leo knew that now they can work out everything else. And he'll do anything for that.

Leonardo closed his eyes and pulled his lover closer for another kiss.

-The End-

* * *

There was no happy ending to this story in the beginning... But then I decided to let them be happy... After all, my Raphie will get his share od suffering...


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